It’s officially one year since I joined Xanga… and no, I have no intention of upgrading. Perhaps a celebration is in order for me and my xanganess.

Moving right along….

It seems downright frigid in this city. What is up with that? The Weather Channel tells me it’s supposed to be 68 degrees right now and I feel like it’s more like 55 or at least something not so close to seventy. Seventy degrees is supposed to be warm, not how I am feeling right now.

I’ve done quite a bit of work this week… I can almost feel the deadlines for the next round of midterms that are quickly approaching. I feel such a sense of impending doom about organic chemistry. My professor is perhaps the worst teacher I have ever had in my life. Nothing makes sense and I really have no idea what is going on. However, I did buy a molecular model kit today so I could try to visualize what is happening. It’s incredibly complicated (at least how she explains things) and I’m sure no one else cares about this but me… and maybe Sami as we are both taking this course. Sami probably has a better professor that I do though, one that is willing to explain. I think I brought this on myself though as the good professor teaches during the day… you might ask why I don’t just sit in on his class. Well, I have a mandatory class at the same time. Great…. I’m still looking for hope in the matter though.

It seems like all of my energy goes to either organic chemistry or art. Why, oh why, did I take an art class? It really is a waste of my time. I don’t need it for anything and it just gives me more stress about deadlines and does such and such look okay… NOT MY STYLE. Posters I can deal with, art techniques that take up all of my time that I should be spending on things I need to get into medical school I cannot. Rage….

Yesterday, I realized that I have some sort of problem. I will know someone in one context, but when I see them outside of the context I am used to, I will pretend I have absolutely no idea who they are. I am pretty sure I have done this for a long time, but I don’t know how to solve it. I feel way too awkward to say anything to them and I am pretty sure this doesn’t help my situation.

I actually am feeling much better here now. I am not ruling out anything, but we’ll see how things go.

Some lyrics for you all… Gives you a clue as to what I listen to!

You’re cynical and beautiful
You always make a scene
You’re monochrome delirious
You’re nothing that you seem
I’m drowning in your vanity
Your laugh is a disease
You know you’re everything I need 

Everything you are
Falls from the sky like a star
Everything you are
Whatever ever you want

I wanna kick at the machine
That made you piss away your dreams
And tear at your defenses
Till there’s nothing left but me
You’re angry when you’re beautiful
Your love is such a tease
I’m drowning in your dizzy noise
I wanna feel you scream  

Everything you are
Falls from the sky like a star
Everything you are
Whatever ever you want

Hope everything is going smoothly for all of you!